Many of you I have met along this path came through the sentiments I would express through my written word, which at the time along with other modalities helped me soften my edges around my body, heart and mind. And, most importantly, helped me function, make sense of things and at times thrive. It was through sheer curiosity, love of learning and the helpful guidance of numerous teachers that I have come to insights and wisdom that have helped make sense of reality and truth. This learning and unlearning is an ongoing practice.
Healing happens in non-linear cycles and the modality that has worked for me, per se, may not necessarily work for you. Learning from others sometime serve as foundational knowledge to a new practice or it guides us towards a new path or truth, with an imprint of what we have now acquired from another. The cycle continues and we become carriers of knowledge and wisdom through the perspective of our teachers and guides. I have come to the insight over the years in this field that the wide range of services under the gamut of mental health, somatics, wellness, yoga, mindfulness, fitness, you name it may be a very challenging place to explore, especially for a newcomer. But, it is in the exploration, that it helps us affirm that it is still possible to come into our own body, heart and mind. The work for me is unlearning all that did not serve for the purpose of loving-kindness.
This morning I went back to one of my favorites, David Whyte. In his first opening lines of "Still Possible" where he "pays homage to the invisible passage of time - the deep, private current that wends through our lives as a steadfast companion."
It is still possible to be kind to yourself, to drop constraints and fall often to your knees, it's not too late now, to bow to what beckons, the world still swimming around you as you kneel transfigured by what sweeps on, it's still possible to leave every fearful former self in the wake of newly-heard words issuing from an astonished mouth.
I want to take a moment and write a little about my own healing journey, which I have expressed in our in-person community events but not necessarily as openly as I used to online. The discomfort, suffering and sure I will use it, but very lightly, the vicarious and secondary trauma from the onset of the pandemic and the war in Armenia of 2020 lived in my body as an unwelcomed guest and teacher. I am so grateful to have had numerous practices to turn to to help heal the wounds to bring me to the other side of things.
When I first travelled to Armenia in October of 2020 to serve as a psychological first aid at shelters, I asked my therapist to continue our Telehealth sessions. I had resources for support and I understand that not everyone has that same fortune. I attempted to keep my yoga and meditation practice while I was volunteering there, however, due to the various challenges of the time and unanticipated health issues, I realized, in retrospect of course, that I was serving from an empty well. Those of us who identify as social change makers, activists and caregivers often suffer the deepest burnout due to systemic inequity and quite frankly, not having the tools and support necessary for sustainable well-being.
It was with the directly with guidance of my teacher, Tias Little and his generosity through Prajna Yoga that helped me gain the strength and vitality through training in yoga therapy and SATYA. I remember the moment quite vividly where I felt like life had brought me down to my knees. I was able to put pride aside and reach out for financial support and receive a generous scholarship gift to begin my studies with them when my soul felt malnourished, and my financial health was dire due to many months of unemployment.
The journey to well-being was of course not just these sessions. The tools that I was able to inherit and then offer to friends, family and clients has never really been mine. What has been mine has been how I have related to every experience along the way. My re-learning to come into my body through the modality of somatics, interests that I had abandoned like cooking, connecting to nature, poetry, hospitality and exercise slowly came back into my life. This was in large due to being able to slow down and absorb. Take it all in.
It is in the small changes that make a big difference and it is in the wisdom of not rushing and going slow and steady that I am most grateful for. When life becomes too fast, especially in a city like Los Angeles, I return to the truth that my body too is deserving of the love and kindness that I offer others. That love and kindness comes in the form of hitting the brakes.
David Whyte continues,
It's still possible to feel your body as fully here and fully you, but not quite your own, to find you can live both entirely as yourself and in the lovely anonymous multitude elements around you, that you have always been a brother and sister to the clouds beyond the window; or have lived your secret, unspoken marriage with the pale blue sky for more years than you could ever remember; and that you have always been proud to be, through all your difficulties, a loyal companion and friend to the foaming tide, coming and going, appearing and disappearing with you, and for you, day after day on the ceaseless shore.
Somatic and yoga therapy has helped me remember that I reside in this body, present and within the truths that I can fathom at the moment, in full allowance. With deep gratitude and with humility, it is also an honor to be able to offer this level of support to you through somatic exploration and yoga therapy. For me, it is not merely movement and mindfulness that is healing. It also nourishing foods, it is people and communities, it is movement in nature and deeper breaths on green hills and fields that help me return home. It is the color of flowers and stories shared with friends that give purpose and meaning to this beautiful and difficult life.
What is it for you?